the magical university

"paper tore" (william gaddis)

with good news comes bad. it’s kind of a given.

so, we’re a University now! and, um, that’s great for the community, for students, . . . and but so the IT switchover has apparently been such a colossal brain cell-destroying venture, that the new grants site isn’t up yet. big deal. right? not when there are timetables for obediently participating with official protocols and whatnot. so, that the forms are not ready means, for me (possibly, for others) that my request for a grant (to support my film project and offer student interns work in documentary filmmaking) has been stalled because . . . here you go . . . THE ONLINE FORMS SYSTEM ISN’T READY.

GRANTS COORDINATOR

I’m sorry, bonnie . . .

yes, we received your abstract,

but if you could be patient until our online forms are ready . . .

 

ME

(a strained but politely sighing beat)

of course,

but my window of opportunity for filming

is narrow, so i suppose i’ll self-fund,

skip the interns (unless they too can self-fund),

and hope for possible “retroactive” funding (?),

later, when your forms are working.

(a long, pensive beat)

say, maybe you could have someone walk my abstract over –

or, hey, email it to the reviewers?

(a quick beat of awareness)

oh right, that’s crazy talk.